How to Deal With a Defiant Child
Determine the values you want your child to have as an adult, and tailor parenting methods that teach these principles. Teach by example.
Try to structure situations so that the child's ability to comply will be fostered.
Focus on why rules are necessary.
Look for clues to what may have prompted the defiant behavior.
Use empathy plus limit setting. Express an understanding of the child's position, but clearly state and enforce the rules.
Use positive-reinforcement to teach children long-term incentives for good behavior.